(2018-06-21) A Matter of Choice
A Matter of Choice
Summary: Syd talks to Saoirse about why Syd kissed Saoirse. (Which at this time does not appear in a log. It happened after, and largely as a result of “Cartoons for Science.” Drama!
Date: 2018.06.21
Related: http://coralsprings.wikidot.com/log:2018-06-17-cartoons-for-science
NPCs: {$npc}
Scene Runner: {$runner}
Players:
sydney..saoirse..

Location

Beach
The greensward of the estate lawn slowly gives way to the sea grass and sand that is prevalent to beachs on the New England coast. Sea gulls and other small sea birds nest in the tall grasses and can be seen moving along the waterline at all times of the day.

Scene

Saoirse is wearing a pink one-piece bikini today (http://www.celebsfirst.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/iskra-lawrence-spotted-in-a-pink-swimsuit-at-the-beach-with-nina-agdal-during-an-aeriereal-photoshoot-in-tulum-mexico-210218_4.jpg) Swishing around over the water to the beach to the water again, she literally swished, making an audible 'Swwwwwiiiishhhhhh" with her arms wide out as she flies at a speedy..5mph. Sun! Beach! It's a Sao-party!

Sydney is sitting on a towel, as usual, with a school book next to her and a tablet of paper in her lap. She's working in pencil for pete's sake, the old school, wooden kind. She reads the problem, thinks about it, writes some calculations, then punches the equation into her watch, which dutifully spits out the results. "I can't believe they let you use calculators in Math class these days," she mumbles. She looks up at the "Swissssssh" sounds and smiles, watching Sao for a few moments. The blond girl has such joie de vie - a phrase that comes down to her from a long-ago French class from which she retained nothing else. It means "Joy of Life." She finds herself envying Sao's… naivety, her enthusiasm, that swimsuit…then remembers the ill-discretioned kiss of the other day. No the other one, with Sao. She sobers and looks back down at her math homework.

Saoirse skims along the water with the tips of her fingers and toes. "Whooooosh! Swwwiiisssh! SuperSaoirse! Whooooosh!" Splashing through some of the water, she dips down into it then comes back up wet, hair flowing behind her. Splashing down she comes in a few moments later swirling and sending water flying everywhere. Flying with body outstreched she moves upside down, about 3 feet from the ground coming to a spot right in front of Sydney, holding out a finger slowly and carefully touch Sydney on the nose with her fingertip. "Hi! Your not going to try to kiss me again right?"

Sydney lets Sao beep her nose, then looks back down. "No, and I'm sorry I did kiss you the one time without asking. That was so wrong of me…" She looks away. "I'm sorry." She closes her book and her tablet and puts them in her messenger bag.

Saoirse nods softly. "It's..well, it's going to be okay. I'll just let Sierra know what happened. But I'm in a relationship with her, we're a couple now. So she's the only one I should be kissing and I'm the only one she should be kissing, that's just the way it works. I'm sorry if I did something to attract you to me that had you kiss me, I dont mean to lead anyone on. Am I showing too much hiney? Or wearing too much makeup? It's okay to be attracted to another person. I'd be flattered if I wasn't already spoken for. But I'm not allowed to be flattered, because I'm a couple with Sierra."

Sydney winces at Sao's questions. "No, it wasn't your fault in any way. Even if you were running around naked it wouldn't be your fault." She wraps her arms around her chest without thinking about it. "I wanted… I don't know. It was like… I had this horrible feeling I'd done you wrong and I wanted to try and balance the scales… make it up to you… and I made it worse."

Saoirse looks rather confused "I dont usually walk around naked. Just when I shower. Or take a bath. Sometimes I have rubber duckies, and they squeak when you pinch them. And I have a bathtime mallard too. He's a different kind of duck." SHe tilts her head as she reaches out and tries to un-cross Sydney's arms. "Why do you think you did me wrong? What could you do that would do such a thing?"

Sydney lets Sao draw one of her arms out. She takes a slow breath. "I was… talking with Sierra. The other morning after she spent the night in your room. And she mentioned kissing you, and I was like… I've never kissed a girl. What's it like?" And… we talked ourselves into… me finding out. Just… for science, was what we said." Syd shakes her head. "I just asked her because I figured she'd know. And I think she did it… from sympathy. But now I have a crush on her, and I realized I have had one on you for a while… and I thought kissing you would make things… even." Sid sighs. "I'm kind of stupid sometimes."

Saoirse blinks, eyes widening. "So…so you..she kissed? You? Right after she spent the night?" She frowns softly, and slowly turns so that she sits on the towel next to Sydney. "That's disappointing. I'm very disappointed in Sierra. She knew better, we just became a couple and she kissed another girl. I thought she was able to put such things aside and focus on her, how she feels..but she let such things lead her. I don't think she knows how to love herself, so maybe that's why she struggles with her relationships." She leans over to plop her head on Sydney's shoulder. "What am I supposed to do now that your crushing on me? Can I do anything to help? Should I wear more clothes?"

Sydney looks at Sao, puzzled. This…sudden coherence was not really what she expected. She sighs gently and slips an arm around Sao. "Well, not throwing me in the ocean to drown for kissing both of you is a good start. I'm not a boy, Saoirse. It's not the clothes. I mean you're really pretty, but you have such… joy. My crushes… usually don't last long. I'll get over it. Just… don't blame Sierra. She did it out of sympathy more than anything else. The whole "for science" thing has a lot of messy history for me." Syd taps on her metal skin with her other fist. It clunks softly. "This was for science. And I had no say in it. And that, among many other things, is why it was so wrong of me to kiss you without asking. I'm stronger than most people now. I have to be careful about that."

Saoirse shakes her head "Why would I throw you anywhere? That wouldn't be very nice at all. Sierra knows better, and this just shows that perhaps she isn't ready for a relationship. That is going to be a conversation between her and I. But I was made by science into what I am. Science in my experience brings out what was inside the person all along, magnifies who they are." She thinks for a moment. "It's okay to like girls, and it's even okay to like Sierra's, if that is what you feel you need to do."

Sydney closes her eyes, but shows now signs of letting go of Saoirse. "Y'know… I keep hearing… 'it's ok. It's not a big deal these days.' But when I was in Junior High…." she shakes her head. "I don't know if it would have gotten you expelled, but it'd ruin your reputation, that's for sure. I got crushes on guys… and once in a while on other girls, but I never…ever…told anyone about them. The girl ones, I mean." Syd shakes her head. "I don't really know what I want anymore. I like boys…but it's like being a lion tamer who's already lost an arm that way. There's a little bit of fear in the back of my head, even now. It never occurred to me that anything else…was even an option. You're way more together about this than I am."

Saoirse nods her head "Well..what does it matter what the person is? Man, woman, metal, robot, alien, something in between them all, if you love them..what does it matter? All the physical stuff should all fall into place, everyone can have fun with the parts when that time comes, but it doesn't really matter if you dont have a connection. It would be hollow. I've seen people have hollow relationships. I just try to let love guide me, in my friendships and actions. Your in a place, both physically and location wise in which you can explore, be freindly, and find out who the person is you want to be. I'm not the person I want to be yet, we all make teeny tiny little strides to be that person we want to be eventually!"

Sydney looks at Sao and listens. "If you love them, what does it matter?" She looks down and wipes at her eyes. "How would you tell?" She shakes her head and looks down, thinking about the rest of what Sao said. "Who I want to be? I have no idea." She pauses. "No… that's a lie. I have a clue. A small one. I like being a hero. I like helping people. It's not much… can't build a whole personality around it, but…it's a clue." She rests her head against Sao's. "Your hair smells like marshmallows." Apparently it's not a huge problem for her, since she doesn't move away, and turns to take a deeper breath through Sao's hair.

Saoirse agrees "mmmhmmmn, if hou love a person, the other parts should all fall into place. Holding hands, love nuzzles, stuff like that.". She hmmns. "I fell asleep on a bag of marshmallows, so that might be why?". Laughing softly "I am expected to be a hero but Im not really cut out for it. I am very bad at it, but maybe I can be helpful somehow still! As well, this is your chance to live a school life. Do it! Live big, love big, love every moment of life you have because this time is so precious to you!"

Sydney gives Saoirse a gentle squeeze before finally making some motion to let go of her. "And you wonder how I got a crush on you. It's like…sitting in the sun to talk to you."

Saoirse blinks "It is? I like the sun! Its warm and it makes me feel good! It also helps power me. Plus..who ever flew a kite in night time, huh? hmmmmmmn?". She smiles giving her a nudge when shes released.

Sydney laughs. "Not me. Don't know that I ever flew a kite, for that matter. But that's exactly how I meant it." She nudges back, and lightly clonks her head on Sao's shoulder. Very lightly. "So that's how you decided you liked girls? Followed your heart and see where it led you?"

Saoirse shrugs her shoulders "I don't like girls in that way. I always follow my heart, I don't see boys, girls, in that way. I see people, I see individuals. It doesn't matter to me at all what someones sex is. If they like girls, boys, if I love them, I will love them as hard as I can! That's just the way I am"

Sydney ponders that some more. "That… seems like a good way to be." She looks at Sao. "How'd you get so wise, anyway?"

Saoirse points to her head "Maybe its the nanos? Or maybe my life is shaped by the love of those around me?". She looks over to the book, taking the pencil and doodles on it, staying with her head on Syds shoulder. Those doodles contain the correct answers to the math which she doesnt seem to struggle with at all.

Sydney chuckles softly, watching the doodles. "Now you're just showing off." She rests her head against Sao's again. "My nanomachines just… well they do a lot, but the brain boost I was supposed to get out of it got taken up maintaining my shape and internal organs as needed. Iron Fist and I both came out with pretty much the available brainpower we went in with. In theory we can use more of it when we're puddled, but then we're cooling and powering by convection, so that slows it down too. Sometimes being the prototype sucks." She chuckles.

Saoirse giggles "Maybe a little?". She draws little apuncorns now in and around the answers. "Being brainy isn't all that you think it is. you overthink the simplest biggest things in life.". She hmmns. "Your machines try to be precise? To be perfect? Mine try to be imperfect, to mirror humanity, to understand it. They strive to be imperfect and chaotic. Its very unique. My father isn't sure how I came to this point even. I get to be free be choose. I am not made of any military secrets or hardware so I lucked out! My sister stood up for me being free!"

Sydney thinks about that. "Mine are fused with my cells. They're not super-precise, it's just that all of them have some "thinking" ability. Like, my brain is distributed. It's not just in my head. It's in my butt, it's in my fingers, it's all over. They're doing a pretty good job pretending to be a human body. Most of the time I don't notice the difference anymore. The times my body gives me trouble are mostly about how much it weighs. Last time I was sparring with Laz, he knocked me down and sent me sliding… and the force of my weight against the sand basically tore my shirt to pieces.

Saoirse laughs "You have the thinkiest butt I know!". She smiles and continues doodling, turning the page. "I'm still human, some. Eventually my body will be converted. My nanos rebuilt my brain making it work better while trying to also respect the processes, the essence that it is. Eventually, in a few years I will die, and be all machine, when that happens..I don't know what I will be like."

Sydney squeezes Sao a little more tightly. "I'm not a good one to cover that philosophical ground with. All my cells are cybernetic. None of them do their original jobs anymore. I don't even know how many are original. I think I'm still me. I still remember my life before I went steel. Am I still that Syd Turner? I think so. But how would I know? I hope you'll still be you." (repose)

Saoirse nods "I hope I will still be me too! I really do!". She thinks a moment. "You still are attracted to people, girls, boys, its okay to like both. You have attraction, feelings, you have the ability to love and as long as you use that, I think you will be okay!"

Sydney rubs her head against Sao's. "Yeah…" she shrugs a little. "I won't be who I thought I was as much, but… I guess that goes with the territory." She looks toward Sao. All she can see is hair, but still. "Seriously though. Talk to Sierra. Please. People…don't evolve overnight, usually.

Saoirse reaches up, giving Syd a little nuzzle. The metal form doesn't bother her, she herself could be a death machine if it wasn't for her personality and myriad of ailments. she pats Syd on the head lightly. "I was pretty clear with her, and she couldn’t go a few hours without kissing another girl. Sometimes people have a problem they need to work out. Sierra is self destructive, and that isn't a problem I can help her with."

Sydney sighs. "I'll feel like crap if you guys break up because of me." She looks at Sao. "But I've seen what happens when two people who don't want to be together stay together, so…just… talk to her, please? Hear her side before you decide. I can't ask you to do more than that."

Saoirse gives a soft nod "I will talk with her, but this isn't your fault. She made a choice to kiss. She is acting like Alistair, whom she was upset about. I am not able to help her, and I have to recognize that. "

Sydney holds up her wrist where Alistair's friendship bracelet is still attached. "If I were a little more comfortable with boys than I am…he's a very, very charming guy." Syd chuckles. "What about Laz. Does he cat about too?"

Saoirse peers at the bracelet "I have not seen him act like a cat, but that sounds like a lot of fun to do! Cats are fun, and you can pet them! As for Alistair..well, Sierra has been acting like a female version of him if not worse. Her behavior isn’t acceptable. If you think you can help her, maybe you can?"

You say, "I guess I don't understand what Alistair does that's so awful. Or Sierra, I guess. I mean, she's very out there with the fact that she's a lesbian, and she likes to make dirty puns, which usually make me laugh and blush at the same time. Catting about is slang. It means…lots of casual sex, basically. Like cats do when they're not fixed.""

Saoirse shakes her head "I didn't want to couple with her for that, I'm a virgin. I didn’t care that she is a lesbian, She is attracted to girls and I happen to be one. I don’t find her behavior acceptable. And that is what it is. We decided to go slow, I even gave her kisses! Marshmallow kisses too! I am not enough for her, so maybe someone else could be her world of support for her!

Sydney sighs. "And I'm asking you to talk to her. This wasn't about wanting someone else. It was an act of kindness. I mean… everyone makes mistakes, right?"

Saoirse nods "This is now a me and her. Don’t worry, no matter what happens everything will be okay!". She thinks "And its okay for you to like whomever you want to, because that’s your superpower - the power of choice."

Sydney looks down. "Well. Ok. It always was between you and her." She looks at Sao. Choice is a superpower? Syd considers that. "You might be right," she says finally.

Saoirse nods her head "Its the most powerful superpower. Its because everyone has it, and can choose towards good or evil. The power of choice can cause great hurt or amazing prosperity. The real wonder is everyone can do it, and that makes it so powerful. Choice can be taken away from you, so you have to guard it carefully. There isn't always a good or bad choice, so they interconnect in powerful ways that make you feel, think, sometimes causing desire and want, sometimes causing regret and mourning. But those choices are ours to make. And that, is peoples greatest superpower - so secret that no-one even knows its there!"

Sydney listens, thinking about that. "Yeah. That's one I'm still learning to use, I guess. At least for some things." She nuzzles Sao's hair and lets go of her, finally, and will stand up to go. She doesn't push Sao away, particularly, so if Sao holds on to her…

Saoirse rises with Syd. "If I wasn't in a relationship at the time, I would not have minded the kiss. It is merely timing. You are a good person Syd, and you will develop that way naturally as you come into understanding of who you really are - a unique, wonderful Sydney, the bestest Sydney you can be.". She reaches over for a hug, to wrap her into a snug extended hug with the utterance "Hugtime!". Then she will release in case Syd wanted to go.

Sydney hugs Sao tight and lifts her up… mostly because she can, and it's easy for her. "I'll try to be better," is all she says.

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