(2016-08-30) Life is Pain
Life is Pain
Summary: Sky follows Besa to make sure he's ok. It does not go well.
Date: 2016-08-30
Related: http://coralsprings.wikidot.com/log:2016-08-30-this-is-how-you-fall
NPCs: N/A
Scene Runner: Who ran this scene, NA if no-one or mutual
Players:
besa..schuyler..

After walking away from whatever just happened with Tabitha, Besa's pretty closed off. His arms are folded and he just let's his dark eyes scan the area before finding a rock to sit on off one of the trails. His legs are drawn up so his bare feet are on the rock, his knees near his chin. He's not said anything since excusing himself earlier, but his mind is clearly racing. One doesn't need to have powers to see that. He's aware that Sky is following and sits with enough room for the other teen to share the bolder if he wishes.

Schuyler actually doesn't move to sit next to the boy. Instead, he moves to sit opposite him so that he can better look at him without having to peer around the other's shoulder. It's habit, really — he needed to be able to see another to communicate (aside from Rain) for so long that it's second nature now. He sits down on the grass, his own knees pulled up and his elbows resting on them, and he waits. He's not going to initiate the conversation, he's not going to try and push into the other's mind. He can be patient when he wants to be.

It takes Besa a little time to wrestle down the negative emotions that race through him. But he does it, crushing them down into a small locked box he tries to keep in the corner of his mind. His eyes close and he takes a calming breath, "I am sorry.." And the after saying it, he signs it. looking over at Sky, Besa offers a smile, it doesn't quite reach his eyes, but no one would notice that unless they really knew the teen. "Are you done with..training?" He has to think about the hand movement that Rain showed him.

«You shouldn't do that, you know,» Sky points out. He may not be probing into Besa's mind, but he can sort of feel, residually, what is going on. It may even seem odd coming from the aloof teenager as he continues, «If you lock everything up like that, one day you're going to explode and you're not going to be able to stop it. It's ok to not be happy all the time.» The last bit is probably much more 'Schulyer-like'. He signs as he mind-speaks as it seems to be helping the other learn.

Besa's never exploded before. His eyes dart away, looking through the trees, "It is complicated Schuyler. I am not angry." Well, not about the language, anyway. A hand raises, only getting about half the words before he rubs an eye. "Usually the priests are here to help me." There's a flash of mixed emotions with that. Very mixed.

«Of course it's complicated. Feelings aren't simple. I mean, if you break them down they are, but they never come from a simple place.» Not once people grow up from infancy. Sky is quiet again for a long moment before he asks, «How would the priests help?»

Besa pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to stave off the heartache that's starting to greep up on him. He's too tired (emotionally) to not talk, "I wold not have woken up in some strange man's office like a trophy. They would not have left me alone to figure this all out…" he sighs, still not looking at Sky, "I miss home. Tabitha did nothing wrong. I was just not prepared for it." He's not signing now, too busy trying to smooth himself back to his natural state.

«So,» Sky offers after a moment of thinking through all of this, «You'd be going your entire life…however long that is…with people taking care of you? Doing everything for you? Telling you what to do and how to do it?» He even offers a little smile, «Haven't you liked figuring things out on your own? Or choosing what -you- want to do? I mean, I know we're at a school and they still tell us what to do to a point, but part of the reason we're here is to be away from our parents. Or Priests.» He's been looking forward to the independence as well, even though he's still pretty dependent on Rain. «It's ok to miss home. I mean, I think it's pretty natural. -I- miss home too.»

Besa stills, realizing Sky's figured out much more than he meant him too. "I don't get that choice, Schuyler. I can not choose to not follow destiny." He swallows, arms, wrapping around his knees, "I have done more this summer, chosen more, than I have in a very long time….I was not allowed friends my age before." Look at Besa the rebel! Anotehr deep breath and the ancient teen's chin sticks out slightly as eh stares at the trees, "My home is gone. My priests are missing…I do not know if they have survived…i don't know the rituals to…" He stops himself , sighing and unfurrowing his legs from his arms. He turns and starts signing again, "I am sorry. Please remind me to sign….I forgot." He smiles again, "Were you done with training?"

Schuyler isn't changing the subject. Not yet. «Yeah, you get that choice. You're alive, aren't you?» Well, mostly? «And who is to say that destiny can't be altered? How do you know you're not already doing what you're destined to do? Maybe you just didn't know about it?» He tilts his head as he continues to look at the other, «Egypt is still there. I bet it's really different, but it's still there. And your priests are missing…maybe that's a good thing? For now, maybe you get to have some freedom instead of being their puppet?» He's just speculating now though.

Besa looks mortified at what the other boy is saying. Destiny can't be altered. That's why it's called destiny! "I know what my purpose is!" His feet are planted in the ground, like he can take some form of courage from the earth itself. His eyes widen, "How can you say that? I need them to.." The word puppet, while not meant to, is wielded like a weapon, smashing in to the locked box of emotions Besa has. His fists ball up and he stands, his voice shakes with anger, "I am not a puppet!"

Schuyler stands as well but not as insistently. He actually seems pleased at this show of emotion. Getting it out is good, even if it means he has to take the brunt of it. «What's your purpose then? Is it to sit and wait while your priests tell you what to do? Because that's what I'm hearing.» Yes, Sky knows how to press buttons. Even before he could read thoughts and emotions, he was good at it. «You need your priests to control your life? If that's what you need then you definitely -are- a puppet. They hold your strings.» Note to self: Show Besa 'Pinocchio'.

Pleased? that's not helping Besa. Anger, resentment, hurt, all flash across the dark haired boys face. "My purpose? I sit and wait to die, you son of a donkey!" Him saying that would probably be hysterical, if Besa wasn't so upset. "I wait for them to do the ritual, and I die…over and over. It is my purpose, my destiny." He's shaking at this point, "You, who live like a pharaoh with everything you could want, make comment on how I was treated?" his head shakes, and he takes a half step away from Sky, "You know nothing. Perhaps they were right…Having companions only makes it harder. Thank you for showing me that!" Maybe that was too many buttons pushed?

Schuyler isn't backing down. Maybe he did push too many buttons, but now he's getting a lot more information about his friend. «So now you have a chance to actually LIVE before you have to die! We don't get all these lives, you know. We get one. ONE. And we live it because we don't get to wake up and get a new start. You do!» Even as his mind speaks with the emotion and emphasis, so do his hands and expressions. Sign Language is more than just finger movements and formations. «Nothing about life is easy. They made it easy, by not letting you actually live! Well, now you have a chance and you get to see how hard it is for the rest of us. Hard and awesome and scary and fun. So maybe you'll die again. We all do. But now you'll know what it's like to have a life!»

Besa's not even sure what Sky is trying to do, all he knows is it hurts. His hands stay clenched as he takes a step backwards. His voice is soft though, hollow, "You think…" His head shakes, black locks sway with the motion, "It is not easy. Nothing has been easy. ….Maybe I will die again?" He looks away, taking a deep breath. They were right, this makes it worse, friends. "I am sorry to have bother you with this." Besa turns, like he's going to leave.

He isn't going to let Besa leave that easily. Sky moves to follow him, «Of course it's not easy. Maybe being cared for by the priests was easy but now that you don't have them, it's not easy. But that's what we're here for. Me and Rain and the others. Even the teachers, even though they're teachers…» he hates to admit it, but it's true. He then quotes, «Life is Pain. Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to sell you something.» So it's paraphrased. Note to self: Show Besa 'The Princess Bride'.

Sky's not getting it, and Besa's not in control of his emotions to do so without yelling, "You are a fool. I should not have told you anything." Especially since it feels like he's just using it to hurt Besa. He turns to snarl at Sky, obviously not understanding that it's a quote, "I know what life is! I know what pain is! You have no right to judge my life…how I deal with it! If I choose to try to not hate, to not be angry at my lot, why would you pick at that? Why do you tell me by accepting my fate, I am wrong?" Tears are starting to form , "Perhaps you should take your own advice before preaching it to others." He tries yet again to leave, walking towards where he left his shoes. Hopefully no one will be there still.

Schuyler doesn't follow immediately this time. He hangs back some, «I never said that. I'm just saying that maybe you shouldn't just wait for your priests to get here so you can just go die again.» Maybe he did go too far this time but most of his friends have either been family or through Rain. «Don't you know that people are bad at taking their own advice?» There's a trace of a smile then but it fades and he shrugs. «Sorry if I upset you,» even though he bets the other may feel better, eventually, after letting it all out. He pauses before he gets too close to the other and looks at him before he just turns and starts to make his own way back to the school.

Besa doesn't find it amusing, there's no smile returned to Sky. The tears don't fall until Sky aploigyses, and even then, Besa's walking away as well. The teen stays outside wandering for a long time before going back to his room. It's going to be a long evening alone with his thoughts.

(feel free to tag the log with character names of those involved!)

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